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Tisza Lodge Tiszaderzs

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Lunch AND Lecture

To eat or not to eat (out), when an expat's just a little bit hungry?



The Indian Summer found us sipping coffee on Kecskemet’s piazza (Kettemplom koz), and swapping travel stories, with our eyes twinkling in the cool white sun. Strangers on a foreign land, we found that we have quite similar adventures: some uplifting, some great, some exciting, some embarrassing. Little did we know that within a few hours we will be one not-that-pleasant story richer.


The clouds started gathering above our heads when we got a little hungry, and came up with the crazy idea to grab a couple of slices of pizza, and go for one last walk before we need to head to the station to catch a train. Labirintus Pizzeria sounded like a good option, so we strolled down into the basement, and told them about our pizza-slice idea. We were invited to take a seat at the table, and we were handed a couple of menus.


Wow, they serve salads as well! But the time being between lunch and dinner, we really didn’t want a big meal (and we did want to take a walk before we split), so we started discussing whether we should share a pizza and a salad, or whether we should have two salads on the side. To help with the decision, we turned to the waiter, asking about the sizes of their salads.


Instead of a response to our query, we were given a lecture about the term Portion, and about the fact that a pizza is A Portion, and a salad is A Portion. The Portion is a unit that cannot be divided. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I insisted on finding out the size of A Portion of salad. That didn’t make me any more popular than I was when posing the initial question.

fork, pizza slicer
The peace-loving man he is, my German friend decided to place an order for A Portion of pizza cut in two, and two Portions of salad. We’ve seen a thing or two in our lives thus far, but the idea of the Undividable Salad sounded quite intriguing. We wondered what could it be made of?…


The food wasn’t bad after all, but I wouldn’t sign up again for this kind of atmosphere. And besides, the Undividable Salad turned out to be sort of a Caesar Salad. C’mon people! I made that tons of times before, and not once did I get in a situation where I could not split one or two portions of it into two, four, or even six bowls.



My humble suggestion to Hungarian restaurant owners
:
  1. Accept the fact that customers have the right to decide how little or how much they want to eat;
  2. They even have the right to decide how much they want to spend on a meal.
  3. Get acquainted with a few revolutionary tools designed to divide portions. For pizza and salads, I’d suggest the pizza slicer (can be replaced anytime with a knife or even a pair of scissors), and something we call a fork!

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